I continue to have interesting opportunities presented to me. Tempting me to stray from the education plan I have set for myself and, oh I don't know....go out to lunch? Go visit a friend? Hang out with my precious and genuinely hilarious nieces and nephews? I can think of a million delightful ways to spend my time, but my head (and honestly my heart too!) WANT to get my work done.
I need to score a perfect 4.0 to raise my GPA to a 3.15. Why was my GPA so low? Well, at 19 years old I attempted to put myself through college. I was not eligible for any financial aid or student loans. I had 3 jobs and, again, was 19 years old. So I went to the college, I paid $1800 up front for my first semester. I tried, honestly I really did, to stay focused on school and do my best. I failed. I ended up dropping study skills and Spanish because I couldn't afford the books. I passed English by the skin of my teeth (with a D+) because I had started off so well but blew off the final exam. I passed Math for two reasons. 1) Math is my favorite subject, and 2) It was Math 90 because I had no SAT's and didn't do well on the placement test because a room full of gum popping, pencil tapping, sighing teenagers is not a girl with ADHD's best friend!
So! In effort to raise that dreadful GPA (which at 19 I didn't understand would follow me around for the rest of my life) I need to achieve a 4.0.
I like to set the bar high. Sometimes, because of my over-achieving personality, I accidentally set the bar so high that I need a spring board and a set of wings to reach it. But, this time, for once, I think I can really do this.
School started on January 17th and I hit the ground running. A month later, though I have tripped on my insecurities a few times, I am proud to say I have received 100% on every graded assignment or test so far. My English professor called me out in front of the class through a document he posted. Look!
I am elated. I am so nervous about doing well and have managed to stay on task. I am so grateful to God for putting me where I am, because "for such a time as this" actually seems to make sense to me right now. I am here, right now, because God was preparing me and shaping me for the last several years. He was getting me ready to understand how IMPORTANT a college education is, how PROUD of myself I can be when I know I've worked for what I have, how blessed I am to receive 100% funding by state and federal grants. Why? Because I never knew that I could do this. I didn't have the desire, the confidence, or the attention span to be able to follow through.
I. AM. GOING. TO. FOLLOW. THROUGH.
I. AM. GOING. TO. FOLLOW. THROUGH.
I. AM. GOING. TO. FOLLOW. THROUGH.
Ahhh. There. I said it. Three times, just like my Mamma taught me. Because, when you say something three times it means that you really really MEAN it, and that you will remember it.
So I mean it. I will follow through, I will succeed, and I will do it with God's blessing and support. Because without Him, the ever present, all consuming Lord and Savior, I am nothing.
And, since I want a baby so much, I know that I need to be in a position to afford a baby. And, well, I'll have a hard time doing that without a degree or a job!
Matthew 6:27 Says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Dear God,
Thank you for your blessings. I pray that you will continue to bless my house. I need your wisdom and strength. Thank you for giving me peace today, and erasing my sadness of yesterday. Thank you for giving me something to smile about Lord.
Amen
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