leap years, midnight madness and lackspiration

Happy leap day! It's officially February 29th and we won't be experiencing this day again for 4 more years! So again I say HAPPY LEAP DAY and I feel like the day is going to be filled with blessings and special happy surprises :o)

   So midnight madness is a term my sister and I use for our random all nighters. Occasionally a situation will arise where I find myself up til the wee hours of the morning facing some type of daunting task. Today is one of those days. I have a four page paper due for my English class. I thought I had until midnight tonight (Feb. 29th) to hand in this paper. However, I was wrong! I have until NOON!!!! The problem with that is that I have appointments all morning today and will not have time to finish up a paper in between. Which leaves me tonight to write all four pages and submit. The good thing? This paper is a rough draft on my final research paper that's due in April. BUT, even though it's a rough draft it IS graded. Sooooo....Why did I wait until now?
   Well, procrastination was not intentional. I am not the type to think, eh...."I work best under pressure." This is SO not true for me, let's face it....We ALL get things done under pressure because we have to. It's not like you have a choice at that point, you have to do it so you just do it. But is the quality of the work as precise as it should be? Are you really giving the best you're capable of when you complete an assignment or fulfil an obligation under the stress of a last minute effort? The answer is no. So we're back to the question of why? So I let my anxiety over wanting to do really really well get in the way of productivity. Also, writing a lengthy paper on the subject of the Industrial Revolution leaves my creative juices wanting. I do not recall ever studying this subject in my early school career, nor do I remember ever discussing this topic with anyone. I did make a trip to our school's library and take out 5 books pertaining to my topic of choice, chartism. But that's as far as I got. *sigh*
   I have tried to get started on this assignment several times over the last week. I have gotten up at 8:30 or 9:00AM every day, gotten showered and dressed, eaten breakfast and taken meds, and sat at my computer wide eyed and bushy tailed. Then, as soon as I open the web browser, you know...so I can get on the school site..., I immediately panic and become filled with anxiety at the thought of producing something impressive enough to warrant an A grade. However, the fact that trying to come up with four pages of awesomeness at the last minute will probably NOT produce an A quality paper did escape me!
   So, I am left here....during midnight madness....while waiting for the birth of my brother's first born child.....writing a blog, when I should be writing my paper......and trying not to go to the kitchen for another bowl of ice cream in attempt to calm my nerves.

Don't allow yourself to fall prey to lackspiration, the opposite of inspiration, just take your life by the horns and GO FOR IT! Inspiration is born out of rambling thought. That's usually when I figure out the hard stuff :o)

Dear God,
     I've been talking to you more lately. I really enjoy it. You listen, even though you already know how I'm feeling and what I need, and you help me to feel more calm. Thank you for being with me even when I'm frantic and stressed. Thank you for blessing me with an opportunity to be home while I figure out my first semester at college since I was a teenager. God, I want to ask your blessing over this time I have to prepare my work. I feel silly asking, because I know there are more important issues going on in my life, but right now this assignment is my biggest source of stress. I know it's pretty last minute but you are bigger than any circumstance, however trivial it may be. God, thank you for answering prayers and providing my needs. I know you will bless me. You always do, I know I can count on you. Thank you for that God.
Amen